Thursday, January 19, 2012

Pain of failure....

There is a great saying "After every night there will be morning and after every failure there will be success". From last one year I have been reminding this verse myself and were working towards my goal...This year as all my results are out I yet to taste success...

This year though all the difficulties I have faced I have realized one thing that if you crave for something it will elude you as in my case success....I know from bottom of my heart that my preparation this year was for better than that of last year but result shows the direct contrast...

Some where deep-down in my heart I know the reason but one part of me is not ready to buy that. Though that part is not listening I will still want to go ahead and write it down here just to make my other part feel better....
Last one year was the worst year of my life till now....from very beginning of year 2011 I had a very restless mind...which lead to unclear thought and this unclear mind prompt me to take some drastic decisions....
1. I decided against going to Argentina and thought of preparing for MBA.
2. Decided to so open resentment to my management instead of handling it diplomatically.
3. Decided to resign from company and to devote full time in preparation.
4. Last but not the least decided to settle personal relation.....

I rejoice first 3 but 4th caused a turmoil in my life ..... first time in life I realized how infirm I am..
This was the first time in my life (till now) that I went back on my words ...I said some thing meant something....My mind did not know what my mouth was saying....the every thing was utterly chaotic....
I had three front to confront with.... my Family....myself and some one I tremendously love...Being as stoical person I thought of taking every thing on me and tried to sooth rest two front......

logging off now....rest in next mail....

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